Autonomy

by Indisposed

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released September 8, 2015

Photos by Aaron Flud
Art Direction By Nina Palumbo

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Indisposed Chicago, Illinois

Indisposed is a band started by Nina Palumbo,
As of Jan 2017, Indisposed is a collaborative project and writing new material with Rebecca Young (Bass), Noah Therriault (Guitar), and Daniel Saller (Drums)

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Track Name: Chimes of The Conquered
I woke up today and it felt like
My body raged war in my sleep
I’m Breathing through a dead
Skin filter I shed
When I wallowed and fed and weep
At A dreamscape I have never tread
I cannot recollect
The drapery lines around my window, the Heap
Of the people I’ve conquered (but can not keep)
Lifeless pile, Clothed Awakenings
My meek voice is quiet 365 days a year
and I think.

It is sunny quiet and 4 pm
My eyes and ears acute
to the sounds of nothings, birds and churches
All trembling but minute. (my-noot)

Sounds of nothing, wake to hear
Chimes ballad, The church bells, I’ve lost my bearings
I shout and praise, call in fear
These words are not worth sharing
Track Name: Minutes Tick Like The March of Soldiers I-II
First march my lovers end.
Second march my grandfather's death.
Third march my friends suicide attempt.
and March four, addiction has lent all it could

and again its all
Approaching
Encroaching

and the touch of the sun
is just a vagrant reminder
Just a vagrant reminder of every shadow cast on the dial.

Pointing Towards the Future

Part 2

Behold the treacherous enigma of Faith
mine has moved through my fingers like sand
and molten into glass
my seething anger I smashed
my hands upon all I failed to repent.
Scarred by the unseen a Holy Ghost.


Heart Exiled and place beneath your skin
and spirit beside your body
white and powdery upon your nose
but barely
heart exiled misplaced beneath your skin and the ticking hand of the clock marches to the rhythm of aSoldiers foot
To the rhythm of a Soldiers Foot.
Track Name: Compromising Comfort (October)
Slow down remain steady
Your touch is anything but.

We slow down for the sake of steady
The sacrifice
this will take.
the toll,

I need you here.
(But your gone)
Everything is no ingrained in me
Everything.
(Everything)
“You'll have carry and I still carry”

Was this all worth it.
(Was this worth it)

“I’m gonna apologize ahead of time.
Cause I’m gonna fall and drag you with me”
I was right. Eventually, I did shiver at your touch
(Don’t you touch me)

Rode the train over the evicted apartments and foreclosed homes
(Everyday)
The year was 2013
(For you I rode that train)
Followed The cracks to his face in apartment b6.

Upstairs, It was beautiful.


Dancing fingers over strings.
Damp ink blooming on his skin.
His cigarettes.
(I loved you)
Cathartic obsession, I could not get enough. It was an infection
I document every memory
(The infection)
and its two years later
We had the worst of us in common.
Our sins, woes, fears akin.
(We had the worst)
The abandonment.
(in common)
Next to a tattered book lent by him,
Face blue course stone, I asked him for help
"I'm thinking too much of you”
"I'm thinking too much of you in 2015
Your name once tore me to speak.
and I still see the scar, every now and then.
and It kills me.
(God it kills me)
Now your off somewhere in PA.
I don’t even know if you're alive.
I don’t even know if you're alive.
Track Name: Absence II
Loss is an empirical solvent in a diluted sense of self
Thickening the view in a swimming lie.
I can't feel whether Im drowning in water of smoke
when I look at a once sensuous lover who lost feeling in his finger tips.

I will not be housed by your plague any longer
Bedridden by your sickness and contempt.
What you claim is love and only know and eyes rigged with nothing but The Absence of God.
The Absence of Love
The Absence
of Love.

So I take faith in these words and hope you're okay.
And believe sometimes an Absence can be a Presence

You were the diluted solvent in my sense of self
thickened the view of all my distorted perceptions
I thank you so much
For Your Absence
A blessing in disguise
You are a gift.
If it wasn't for you,
I'd be done.

Loss was the solvent.
And I had to say it too you so many times
It diluted my intentions and my feelings for you.

But this is the point at which,
I let you go.
Track Name: Hymn of Cycles and Engines
To be autonomous
Just a product of your fear.
The scary things are what we refuse to admit
A product unseen to ourselves.
Our voices hymn like the hum of an engine
and its a static I have never heard before.
Track Name: Whose Holding The Knife (Demo)
Whose holding the knife up to whose head.